dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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