Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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