So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
