Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
