you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
