from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
