Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
