I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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