South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
