i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
