they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
