vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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