You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize