Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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