just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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