Already got asked if we're dating
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Do vagina's smell?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
