I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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