Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
