Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She even gives head with a lisp.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
