I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
