Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
