i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
