wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
