this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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