New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize