Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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