Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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