Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
