this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Randomize
