As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
