you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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