My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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