is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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