At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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