Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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