Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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