before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
