Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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