is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
