I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
