Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Randomize
