I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
