y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
