I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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