Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
