I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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