quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
