If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
