my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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