I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
