if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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