he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have aggressive nipples.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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