I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
