i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
