I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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