brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
