I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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