if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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