So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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