I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
