You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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