I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
